Written Thoughts · November 17, 2021

Vulnerability and the Ego

Maybe the reason we demonize vulnerability/weakness is because we refuse to accept the fact that sometimes things get too fucked up and there’s literally nothing a person can do about it but hope/wait.

It’s a trick of the ego, both when victim blaming (turning a blind eye to how bad things are), or when we blame ourselves (because it makes us feel bigger to take ownership of fuck ups – even if it means self-hatred – instead of accepting that we were completely vulnerable)

The ego helps us survive, it pushes through all challenges, that’s its job. And it refuses to believe that there are things out there that one can’t do anything about. But the truth is, life is chaos, our minds are intelligent and developed enough to spot patterns within the chaos, making us feel safe (like we know how to avoid danger if we understand how things work), and the more chaotic the environment you developed in, the more patterns you can see (especially when it comes to the big picture).

But still, the universe is chaotic, and you could spend your whole life looking at patterns and formulating theories just to scratch that insatiable itch and feel better about yourself, but it certainly doesn’t mean you’re not gonna fall flat out on your ass at some point with nothing to do about it (it’s unavoidable) but then when it happens, it’ll clear itself out on its own, as it has always done (no thanks to you, because you aren’t in control of anything you tiny little human) so don’t beat yourself up about it.

Good Morning ☕